


Don't Worry About Me

by vvenhedis



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: During Last of Us, Exploration of Ellie and Joel's Relationship, Father-Daughter Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Slight Canon Divergence, Slight Re-Write of Scenes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-21 00:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13729275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvenhedis/pseuds/vvenhedis
Summary: four times ellie needed joel, and the one time joel needed ellie.told in a five part series, an exploration of ellie and joel's relationship throughout the game.





	Don't Worry About Me

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is just a little something i had to write after playing the last of us for the billionth time.
> 
> this five-parter takes place during the last of us game. some scenes are from the game, but re-written for the purpose i wanted to serve-- hence the slight canon divergence. others explore moments not shown in the game, but based off previous events that happened. 
> 
> nevertheless, enjoy. there's not a set update schedule for this.
> 
> also-- sorry for typos, etc. i do not have a beta reader at this moment.

**one.**  
**pittsburgh.**

_Boom._

There was no concept of time as the hunter’s body jolted backwards, his blood blossoming against the wall. For a split second there was nothing, and then her ears started ringing, and the gun was ripped from her hands and -- _oh my god_ , she had shot him. Like, _actually_ shot him, and it wasn’t like Ellie had never killed anything before but the unidentified man had been trying to drown Joel and succeeding and Ellie had been worried and scared because she didn’t want to end up alone and--

“Ellie!” 

She was dragged back to reality. Her eyes snapped up just in time to catch Joel’s hard gaze. It read: _I’m not happy_ and, Ellie, for the life of her, couldn’t figure out why. She had just _saved his life_ , and it sure as hell hadn’t been easy.

“What?” she replied hesitantly, yet her tone remained even. 

“Did you hear me?” Joel asked. He fumbled aggressively with the gun-- the one Ellie had just used to save his life. He turned it over in his hands like it was nothing; like it hadn’t just been used to _kill_ a man. 

Ellie fell back, sitting herself atop an old, overturned air conditioning unit. If she looked dazed and confused and vaguely sick, then Joel didn’t notice. 

“I _said_ ,” Joel started, his expression stern. “Why didn’t you just hang back like I told ya’ to?”

_Hang back?_

Ellie had just saved his _fucking_ life, and here Joel was, complaining about Ellie’s perceived disobedience. So, what she had done, _shooting_ that man-- it hadn’t been worth it? It was like she’d been slapped in the face. All Ellie wanted was to be validated, to know that no matter how hard the decision, she’d made the right one. 

“Aren’t you glad I didn’t?” She was a well of emotion-- of seething anger, bitter sadness, a wave of _‘what the fuck Joel?’_ But her voice betrayed her, and the question was delivered as a plead, a desperate attempt to get Joel to say something, _anything_ to set her shaken mind to ease. Was that too much to ask?

Apparently it was because Joel didn’t say anything even remotely close to what Ellie wanted to hear. Ellie knew he wouldn’t, but it didn’t help lessen the blow.

“Well, I’d be a hell of a lot happier if you’d just _listen_ to me,” he responded, tossing the gun to the ground after emptying it’s clip of bullets. He glanced back at her momentarily, a disappointed expression plastered on his face and, _god_ , Ellie hated how stubborn he could be sometimes. 

Rising quickly and, albeit, a little dramatically, Ellie stomped past him (and when she brushed past him, aggressively making contact with his shoulder? Well, she had meant to do that). 

“Hey,” Joel started, his tone noticeably softer. He had turned to face her, but Ellie was already halfway up the ladder that Joel had, moments before, been kicked off of. 

She ignored him.

“ _Hey._ ” 

Ellie paused, then quietly descended, deciding to give Joel a chance. When she reached the bottom she turned to look at Joel, who was already staring back at her with his arms folded and his brow arched.

“ _What_ has gotten into you?” He asked, his voice almost incredulous. And, god, if that wasn’t a loaded question.

“What’s gotten into _me?_ ” she spat accusingly. “I just saved your ass! And all you’ve got for me is,” her voice dropped in a crude attempt to impersonate Joel, “ _‘goddammit, Ellie, why didn’t you listen to me?’_ You know what, Joel, _no_.”

Somehow, within the span of a few seconds, Ellie had stepped dangerously close to him. She was fuming, conveying as much fury as a fourteen year old could. All she had wanted to hear was that it was alright, and that while killing that man had been tough and emotionally distressing and just _hard_ , that in the end it was okay because it was something she had to do in order to survive.

Joel was stunned, taken aback by the outburst, though he didn’t remain phased for long. 

“So, what?” The man shook his head. “What do you want? A goddamned ‘thank you’? Is that what you’re going off about?”

Leave it to Joel to just make things worse with his hot-headed attitude and incredulous way of speaking. Leave it to Joel to just _not understand_. Ellie didn’t answer. 

“What do you want me to say, kid?” Joel pushed. He kept _pushing_. 

“I just,” Ellie bit out, almost stopping herself. She could feel the beginning of tears starting to rim her eyes and, _goddammit_ , Ellie Williams didn’t fucking cry. Especially not in front of Joel. 

“Was it either him or you?” She asked. Her voice was small. 

“What?” Joel asked, clearly confused. 

“Was it either him or you?” Ellie asked again, this time with much more conviction. 

And Joel stared at her for a minute.

“If I had stayed back would _you_ be the one laying there,” she continued, pointing at the newly deceased body of the man she had just _shot_. She spoke bitterly. 

“Ellie…” Joel started, his tone had grown somber after his gaze had followed her pointed finger to the dead man. It was like he _finally_ understood what she had been going off about. 

There was a long pause, an uncomfortable silence falling between them as they stood, face to face, at the base of the ladder. 

“Is _that_ what you want to hear?” Joel asked, quietly. 

Ellie didn’t respond right away. She wasn’t used to feeling vulnerable, or appearing younger than she seemed or _any of it_. Instead, she kicked at the rocks on the floor, played with her hands behind her back— tried to whistle. 

She tried to do anything that would distract Joel from noticing how small she was feeling— how young and scared and _affected_. She tried so hard to act distant from it all, like shooting a man meant nothing and that she was just used to the way the world was now. 

She heard Joel sigh, a deep tired noise that made Ellie flinch because she didn’t know if Joel was tired of her or— 

“It was,” he finally said, after a long pause. Joel carded his hand through his hair before rubbing at the back of his neck. “It was either him or me.”

It felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. 

“Joel…” she finally said, unsure of how else to respond. 

“And I shouldn’t have gone off on you. I’m—”

“It’s fine.” It was all she knew how to say. 

“Okay,” he said with a quick nod. Joel then paused. “You know I didn’t—”

It was a rare moment of tenderness between them, one that Ellie hadn’t ever expected from Joel. He struggled with the words, tiptoeing around them, and Ellie was taken aback at his willingness to _try_ and set things right. It was definitely a change of pace from his usual brash and demanding attitude. 

“ _I know,_ ” Ellie said, cutting him off and sparing him from having to stumble awkwardly through an apology. It might’ve been worth it, but Ellie wasn’t that cruel, at least she had gotten something more than a _‘why didn’t you listen to me’_. And to Ellie, that was enough.

“Okay,” he said again, followed by another pause. “Let’s get a move on.”

Traveling with Joel? Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as Ellie had originally thought.


End file.
